Whether it’s generational (the greatest generation), or cultural (stoic Irish), the loss of Bud was just never discussed.  In the past weeks I have found incredible treasures (settle down – not monetary!) that I can’t believe I am only seeing for the first time.  And there’s no one that I’d like to talk with more than my dad, who was only 11 at the time.  Even nine years ago when Bud’s DNA was requested by the Army, there wasn’t much discussion, but I knew my dad was quietly excited. (As my brother said at our father’s funeral, “A river of emotion always flowing right under the surface). When we heard back that there was no match, that vault closed again and I assumed it was closed for good.

Amazingly, the eldest Byrnes of those siblings is still with us.  At the age of 99, Anna is also a vault on this topic.  When we told her of Bud’s discovery and imminent return home, she was quiet.  And then she bawled…like I have never known anyone in that family to do   Probably the way no one has since 1943.   On another occasion I brought it up again, and I got the same response, and so I resolved not to talk about it any more with her.  But before I left her that day, she pointed me to a place where I would find a letter.  I’ll share that letter soon, but it started my journey of getting to know my uncle, and I’m so grateful. 

In one of his diary entries from his time in New Guinea (yup, I found that too) there is a poem.  It’s the only one like it in the whole book.  The tone is both melancholy and sarcastic. Bud talks about being “on loan to Uncle Sam” and wondering whether anyone even remembers the guys who are gone.  For whatever reason, and I imagine it’s just because of the overwhelming grief, Bud was a far-off relative who we’d never get to know, and to be honest, wasn’t really remembered. Not anymore.  Now I spend a good part of my day thinking of him.   I’ll try to start with what I know about his life in Stamford – his family, faith, school and work, and then move to the military part. Because this week we’ll be visited by our Army rep and I want to know so much more about his guy than how he left us.

It’s a little hectic around here, but my goal is to post something short each day for the following week. Stay tuned.

xo

Anmarie